Okay, so i have had the positive post, and now its bak to bein crappy again.
Someone brought round a reference for brenda a few days ago (i wont say who it was, coz there r people who read this that know that person), and there was some stuff in it that made me get so angry!! It said something along the lines of that she raised dad's kids (ie me, eddie and amy), but when she moved up here, and took over our lives, i was 16, amy was 18 and eddie was 20! She is no way "raised" us! All that she ever did was yell, push, threaten to kick us out, and try to make dad choose between us and her. That is not what i would define as "raising" unless u r some sort of a freak.
There is somewhere in the bible (Titus 1:6) that says that a man who is an elder should only have one wife. I dont of that is refering to re-marriage after divorce or only someone who is married to more than one person at one time.
I know i will probably look bak at this when i am more with it, and less angry and think a little differently, or at least a bit less extreme, but for now i am just angry.
I havent sworn since i moved down here to live with dad, but all i wanna do atm, is ring brenda and the person who wrote that reference and just scream and swear at them as loud as i possibly can. I know that i am not likely to do that, which is y i am writing this instead.
posted by Katie @ Thursday, January 05, 2006
4 Comments:
That's gotta suck. Grr!
*hugs*
*hugs* coz you're feeling angry/hurt/confused....but Katie, it's not Brenda's fault someone wrote a misleading reference. And whether she's getting things right or wrong, I think in Brenda's heart she only wants to see you all blessed and growing and stuff....it must be confusing for her sometimes too!
And you're right, there are tough dynamics at work in blended families, I wish I could make it all better for you.
Shane and Jacob let me in on their devotions today, they read from Luke 1 and it really challenged me. All the stuff that was in Elizabeth's (barrenness, and people making fun of her for it!) and Mary's (virgin birth - but did the neighbours believe that story?) lives that could have made their family lives miserable....yet there are verses like 'nothing is impossible with God' and 'blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has spoken to her will be accomplished' and Mary allowing her life to be turned upside down, saying 'I am the Lord's servant, may it be to me as you have said'....
It's so easy to read other people's stories and forget that it should be our story, my story. Trusting God when things look impossible and you feel like running the other way....and gee, I don't know why I suddenly started sounding preachy - sorry, I guess I'm out of everything familiar and kind of homesick right now and working through it for myself.
But maybe homesickness is part of the point. Eternity, perfection is in our hearts and somehow we have to keep hoping for it, grasping for it, but knowing that in between now and heaven, people, families, circumstances will disappoint us.
Gee, I'm way sidetracked and don't know how to redeem this random commenting but to say I love you Katie *hugs* God wants your family to work out for good even more than I do....ask him how you can cooperate with what he's already doing in your Dad's, Brenda's, Amy's, Ed's, and even your Mum's and Michael's hearts....and continue toi ask for peace and grace to overflow from your own life, even when things aren't ideal.... *hugs*
Hey. As outsiders, it easy for people to say 'Oh, they're such a nice person, why would you ever not like them?', but I can understand your feelings, having (almost!) been there myself. I'm just greatful mum never married 'em. Anyway, just wanted to let you know that even though, as an outsider, I find her ok, I completely understand how you must feel most of the time. Especially when other people get involved.
*Hugs*
But yeah, Deborah's comment is a good one, even though she thinks it's off track! :)
Post a Comment
<< Home