I dont get it
I am so confused! I dont understand it. Actually, i probably should explain what it is that i dont understand, so that u dont think i am some deranged psychopath who is busy talking to herself in her blog!
I was thinking about nothing in particular earlier this week, and i realised some stuff that really confused me, as u may have already gathered. When i was living up in broadwater with my mum and step-father, i ended up seeing the school counsellor a couple of times. Anyhow, i told him some of the stuff that had gone on with my step-father (the magazines, and some stuff that happened), but nothing was ever said to me about it. I dont understand why though. He was the school counsellor, wouldnt he have had some sort of obligation to report any possible abuse that a student told him? I mean, i was sent to him coz i was banging my head against things, wouldnt that make it kind of obvious that maybe, just maybe, something wasnt exactly right with my life at that point, and wouldnt the stuff i told him make it clear that the home i was in wasnt exactly the best place for me to be?
Then i ended up thinking, well what if he talked to the principal about it. But if he did, i dont know if the principal would have just brushed it off coz he knew my parents, and didnt think that my mum would allow something like that to happen?
But wouldnt they have been obligated to report it to DoCS or something? Shouldnt something have been done to help me?
If something had been done then, where would i be now? Would i have started cutting anyhow? Would i have ended up feeling suicidal, as i have felt at times? Would my sister have still gone out doing the things she did? Would my brother still have done the things he did?
I am so confused about all this. I dont know what to think about it, or maybe it would be easier if i just didnt think about it. I dunno :S
posted by Katie @ Saturday, September 24, 2005
4 Comments:
aww, Katie *hugs* And you are SO not a deranged psychopath....you are a survivor and a superchick who influences the people in her world for the better.
And gee, I don't know why either....mostly when I get disappointed with people not helping me in appropriate ways, I do my best to get over them and my disappointment and think about how I can learn to care for people better because of the experience - sometimes you learn what to do and sometimes, what not to do.
I guess the thinking about stuff is tough - I know when I'm trying to deal with things, sometimes I feel like thinking brings me down, but then a lot of the time thinking helps me work out why I am where I am, so I can face the worst and figure out where to go from here.
You are SO brave and I love you heaps, your life is SO brimming with potential and openness and hope, maybe this is like a cocoon-y time and you'll fly out full of more colour and life than ever before!! You remind me of the 'unwritten' chick:
I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned
Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
Oh, oh, oh
I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way
Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten
Oh, yeah, yeah
Stuff doesn't happen for no reason, if someone was meant to intervene then God would have made it happen.
Your sister went out and did stuff she shouldn't have, but look where she is today, she has a beautiful little girl who God has great plans for.
Maybe you are going through this now so that when you have worked all this out within yourself and between you and God you will be able to help others going through what you are going through now. God has a plan so much bigger than we can see, and we may never ever see the consequences of our actions directly but God know's what is going on, what is going to happen and if you just trust him totally that he knows what is going on and why it's going on, you will come through this a stronger and better person!
I think you shuld give the situation to God.
Yes the councellor should of reported it, but he didn't.
And here you are.
Don't dwell on the past baby, the future is way much more fun!
Live for the future.
(((Hugz)))
((huggles))
I wish i was there and i was the counsellor. Yes it should of been reported and i am 100% sure from experience he was mandated to.
But as Lami said it is the past now. And now it is time to build a better future.
Because of the choice not being made by the counsellor to report it or whatever you have some more issues to deal with.
But you don't have to do it alone.
I am here for you. These wonderful chicks are awesome friends too.
And girl, God. Oh how he is waiting for you. He has his arms open. don't just say okay. I am serious Katie, all things are possible with him!
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