23 days and counting...
It has now been 23 days since i cut last. That is the longest i have eva gone (well since i started anyhow) without cutting. YAY for me! Unfortunately i have been biting my lip a fair bit, but the psychologist has said that biting is better than cutting, coz it is less likely to do permanent damage, and coz of the risk of hitting veins and stuff with cutting.
Now the bit that some people reading this may not wanna hear...
Last night was a huge struggle, and i cant even pin point what started it. I was feeling soooo crappy, and i ended up with my bottom lip bleeding right along it, and i was struggling so bad not to go and buy some razors from about 9.00pm onwards. Lately i have been having the same dream almost every night, and in my dream i am looking down on myself and i am sitting in the shower, fully clothed, with cuts all up my arms, and with my wrists slashed. Last night all i felt like doing was making that dream come true. I mean, i tried distracting myself, but nothing was working last night. Usually i can distract myself by reading or drawing, or listening to good music, but none of it was working last night.
But i didnt end up cutting, so i can still continue counting the days...
posted by Katie @ Tuesday, September 06, 2005
7 Comments:
Praise God
You are doing so well Katie.
You have reason to be proud of yourself.
You should buy yourself a treat.
You can continue counting the days babe because you CAN find strength in Jesus.
I am praying for, and know you can make it through this.
I believe the dreams are attacks from satan, you are worth attacking because you are a princess of the King. You are feelin good about not cutting.
It is just a dream that holds no power over what WILL happen, for once you have control. Squash the dream by staying close to Christ.
(((hugz)))
Love you Kat
Amen
Praise God that you didn't cut.
You are doing well.
*Cuddles*
I am SO proud. I was just listening to Superchic[k] Hero and that's you!!
"Each moment of courage, her own life she saves....Heroes are made when you make a choice"
You've joined the fight for what's right, AND YOU'RE WINNING!! *hi-5s and hugs*
Good Girl Katie!! I think it's great that you were able to overcome it.
Always remember that you are loved! if you ever doubt that I am more than happy to come around and hug you till you cry for mercy!
Keep counting!!!
*hides*
the counting restarted... :(
2 hours, no cutting
*hugs* *looks at time* Hey!! It's over 9 hours now....you've more than quadrupled!!
I love you Katie, you can do this :)
You can do it babe.
And i am praying for you about tonight!!
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